I Blame the Mob

Well, I have to blame somebody, don't I? And since the Mob was largely responsible for the original development of Las Vegas, they're a good choice. Just don't tell them that I'm blaming them, because I don't want to end up clogging one of the pump stations at the Hoover Dam.

It all started a couple of weeks ago. If I had attended the Western Veterinary Conference, as I have done the last two years, we would have spent last week in Fabulous Las Vegas. The first year, I went with Former Vet-Friend, and last year Tom got to go.

He loved it. And when I say "loved", I mean that there was a distinct possibility I was going to have to drug or otherwise subdue him to get him on the plane and back to Minnesota.

Perhaps it's just our reticular activating systems. You know how, if you decide to buy a certain kind of car, suddenly you start seeing that kind of car everywhere? Or if you're pregnant, it seems like every female you see between 15 and 75 is also pregnant? That's your reticular activating system. There aren't really any more instances of seeing those things, but your brain is just programmed to notice them more. So maybe that's what's up with all the Vegas references we're encountering lately. Or maybe it's the Mob.

Tom watches a lot of those "cops and criminals" shows, like Jail, Speeders, and Cops. Right now, they all appear to be set in Las Vegas. I mean, every time he turns on the TV, there it is.

He was in mid-"I want to go to Vegas, can we please go to Vegas" plea when he looked at the cover of the book I was reading (Dancing With Werewolves... yes, I read that kind of stuff.) and saw a picture of the Las Vegas sign on the cover.

If the "cops and criminals" stuff isn't on TV, it's "Vegas Cheaters", showing all the ways people try to cheat the casinos and the ways the casinos catch them.

We're NASCAR fans, and this week's race was in... you guessed it... Las Vegas.

Yesterday, I was in the tub and heard, blaring from our TV, a Dean Martin song. Turns out, Tom had been flipping channels and come across the movie Vegas Vacation.

What was the cover story in the travel section of yesterday's newspaper? "Come to Las Vegas!"

As if this stuff weren't more than enough, there are TV and newspaper ads for ridiculously cheap packages to Las Vegas. We can get air fare, plus three nights in a hotel on the Strip for something like $269 per person. Honestly, since I discovered the McDonald's (yay, dollar menu!) hidden way in a back corner of the Excalibur, we could almost spend as much money going to the Grand Casino Mille Lacs an hour from our house. But, of course, we wouldn't be in Las Vegas. Where it is not at this moment (pause to check desktop weather bug) 18 degrees.

I think we were giving serious consideration to a 4-day getaway to Sin City... and then I did our taxes. Which always baffles me. We have very modest income, but always claim "zero" on our W-4 so they take out plenty of taxes throughout the year. We have a de-valued house with two mortgages, and pay license taxes on three aging cars. That's about it. No dependents. No tuition tax credits. But with modest income and two mortgages, and taking out "zero dependents" tax levels all year... how the hell can we owe over $1000 between federal and state taxes??? One of us should have been an accountant (not me.).

So. The Mob can keep taunting and tempting us, but it's not going to do any good for right now. We have the Royal Wedding in Florida at the end of April. Then, who really wants to go to the desert, even Las Vegas, in the heat of mid-summer? (Though I have drawn up a plan by which we can visit at least 4 casino/hotels without being outside for more than 15 seconds)

Right now, I'm thinking maybe for our 26th anniversary in September. The Mob is just going to have to be patient about getting their hands on our tens and tens of dollars.