Why Don't I Ever Listen to Myself?

It is now nearly 4 PM, and I have returned from the seventh circle of shopping hell. I am totally good for another five years now. Maybe ten.

We did manage to miss the exit on the way to the Mall of America. This was my fault. Normally, Tom drives and I navigate. This has been our system for 27 years, and it usually works quite well. Today, however, I was busy listening to my new Carbon Leaf CD. This band's lyrics are marvelous, thought-provoking poetry, requiring me to read the lyrics in the CD case as I listened. Hence, I did not see the numerous large tourist-oriented signs directing us to the appropriate exit. To his credit, Tom did not let this annoy him to the point that he needed to call attention to the fact that I totally blew my part of the system. I was aware.

Note to self: Hey, idiot computer girl. Next time you decide you must leave at 9 AM so as to have enough time at an oversize consumer venue, use your damned computer and determine at precisely what time this particular venue actually begins committing acts of commerce.

We arrived at 10 AM. Of course they let you in then, because there are countless "mall-walkers" that seem to need to be there. However, none of the actual stores open until 11 AM on Sunday. So I was already halfway tired and had lost circulation in my toes (despite wearing flat black loafers) before a single shop opened.

We did share a yummy Chantilly crepe (bananas, apricot preserves and whipped cream) as we waited, though. That was OK.

I am sad to report that today's trip, despite four levels and several hundred stores, was even less productive than our trip to Kohl's yesterday. I did see one ever-so-lovely silk wrap shirt in a beautiful watercolor print of blues, greens and white. However, at $140, that would have blown my shirt budget for approximately two years. I quickly learned that there was no point looking at anything in any of the stores unless it was on the clearance rack. The long and short of the day was that if I liked it, it was at least four times what I was willing to pay. If it was in my price range, it was crap.

Right before we left, though, I went back to one store and got a short sleeved, mock turtleneck top. It was in jewel tones in a soft stained glass sort of print. I initially didn't get it, because I wasn't in love with it. I went back, though, and confirmed that it did indeed have blue in it, meaning I could wear it with jeans and not just slacks for work. (My clothing must be multi-functional.) At $16.97, it was only slightly more than I like to pay.

The part that sucks, though, is I got it at Christopher & Banks. No, I have nothing against this particular retail clothing establishment. I actually like them, because they do the next best thing to providing me with Garanimals color-coordination tags. They hang all the things from a particular collection together, making matching various pieces much easier for the fashion-impaired. They also have a most outstanding clearance rack. The sucky part is that there is a Christopher & Banks less than two miles from my house, right next to Fashion Bug. I probably could have gotten this same shirt and been home in 15 minutes, and spared myself the MOA experience.

I did get a nice big juicy chicken sandwich right before we left, and have half of it here for my evening snack. So that part is pretty good.

I also got to walk approximately seven miles. I have tired legs, blistery feet, and will have sore calves tomorrow. Exercise and I are not well acquainted. I sit on my ass at my desk for 10 hours a day, then come home and sit on my ass on my comfy couch. Any walking I do is either accidental or unavoidable.

The bad part is that I still have the urge to find just one item that I am absolutely crazy about. A shirt, a sweater, some slacks, a jacket, I don't care. But I want to find something I adore and that is at a price that doesn't spoil the whole experience.

Maybe I need to just start begging for hand-me-downs from readers. The best wardrobe I've had since my surgery was when I had moved down from size 22 and was size 10, and T's mom gave me a gigantic bag of size 10s. There were pants, Capris, tops, dresses, the works! Now that is my kind of shopping! Someone hands me a huge bag of awesome, free clothes!

Signing off now. Gotta start eBaying. Which is probably what I should've done in the first place.