Sobriety, Day Two

(Original posting date 1/12/08)

I'm not really sure if I should count yesterday as a sobriety day, as it wouldn't have been a "drinky day" to begin with. Those tend to be Saturdays and Thursdays (Thursdays being my day off). But today is Saturday, and there is no chance in hell that I will be doing any drinking. Yes, my resolve is still strong. My neck, shoulder, and stitched up head, not to mention my bruised elbow and ass, are still way too sore from my warp-speed trip down the steps. I did not "stick the landing." Zero points for that. I don't plan to test the theory, but I suspect it would be extremely difficult to hoist a wine glass (assuming I could find one I haven't already broken) when my neck and shoulder are still on the injured reserve list.

The benefits of not drinking are many and obvious. Fewer gaping head wounds, for starters. By extension, there should also be a decrease in other self-inflicted bodily injuries and scorched bangs. Less falling into the bathtub and pulling the shower curtain rod down on my head while trying to stand up from the toilet. Less clinical dehydration and property damage. By property damage, I am referring to the many, many lovely wine glasses I used to own, as well as actual structural damage to the house (like the time I fell down the lower section of the steps and put my butt through the wall at the bottom, ouch.).

I also anticipate fewer mornings when I have to inspect the house for clues to how I spent the previous evening. Are there dishes in the sink? Did I remember to eat dinner? Any new bruises? Did I leave clothing scattered throughout the house? Did I remember to feed the dogs? Did I scorch or incinerate anything important? (couch, self, etc.) Honestly, sometimes I feel like a CSI detective. "Hmmm. Seems some stupid drunk chick burned yet another hole in her couch. And I do not want to know why there's a thong on the end table."

I do harbor the minor concern that my sex life may suffer. It's become a habit on our days off together to begin our "us time" with a few drinks before moving on to the subsequent recreational portions of the day. Without this ritual, I wonder how such interludes will be initiated. On the upside, though, at least I will be able to remember said interludes. That's a major plus.

I'm still conflicted about whether it's OK to drink a glass of wine or two if we are out having dinner. My problem isn't the "I have to drink every day" kind, but more of the "when I do drink, if I have more than two, I am not stopping until I've finished every drop of wine in the house, and then I will find some way to justify starting to drink Tom's Jack Daniels." Not that I remember how I accomplish that, but apparently I'm quite ingenious, and possibly sneaky, when the alcohol supply begins to dwindle. Having wine with dinner in a restaurant is self-limiting. Two glasses (who am I kidding... maybe three) is all I can handle, from a budgetary standpoint as well as the "I'm a gastric bypass patient, and once I actually start eating dinner, there's no more room in the tummy-pouch for wine" standpoint.

I know that AA says when you quit drinking, you may never, ever have another drink, or you will quickly fall so hard off the wagon that it will make my head-smashing experience look like a lightly stubbed toe. I'm not sure about that. Further contemplation on that subject is required. It would, however, be extraordinarily stupid of me to give it any serious consideration while I still have stitches in my head.

Now, I must go clean those stitches and take some ibuprofen. More updates as they become available.